June 7, 2011
The battle begins at 1:30 tomorrow, June 8 (aka I’m starting my chemo). I’m a little nervous, but to be honest, it’s for a stupid reason. I HATE getting IV’s. I don’t usually make a scene over them or anything, but they are really starting to get to me. Needles never bothered me too much until recently I’ve been stuck so many times. You’d think I’d be getting used to it, but for some reason it is going in the opposite direction. You’d also think that I would be more worried about feeling terrible after, losing my hair, etc. but I most dread getting a needle in my vein so many times…wow, that sounds wimpy. So any suggestions of getting over that will be appreciated.
pray. Here’s the deal: after 2 months of chemo I will have another PET scan to see if all of my masses in my neck, chest, spleen, and liver are gone. Hodgkin lymphoma is very chemo-sensitive, so it is very realistic that all of it will be gone in two months. So if it is all gone, praise the Lord and I will finish out my chemo the next 4 months in remission. However, if there is even a tiny bit left after the two months, I will have to go on a more intense chemo with harsher short-term and long-term side effects… Your prayers have already been building me up and preparing me for this time in my life, so keep up the good work. I thank God everyday for your prayers and support.
believe. The Lord has always taken care of me, so why wouldn’t He this time? “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” -Psalm 55:22 I am trusting Him throughout the healing process. I am believing that He will heal me in two months and that if I am not healed by then, that He will heal me in His time. I am going to experience the meaning of faith in its fullness like never before.
conquer. With the full armor of God, I will be victorious. I am conquering the obvious, but I am also conquering fears along the way. With all of you behind me and God’s power and strength, I will not be defeated.