pray. believe. conquer again.

I mentioned this in my blog back in December, but now it is actually happening: “The only thing scarier than finding out you have cancer is finding out you have cancer again.”

My oldest sister Amorey came all the way from Virginia to “surprise” me this week in Boone. On Tuesday morning after a finance exam, I drove home and there was Amorey, standing in the driveway. Though happy to see her, I knew there was more to her visit. But since I wasn’t expecting the results from the biopsy until the end of the week and was in a sleep-deprived state from all my finance cramming the night before, I didn’t really suspect that she was here to give me the “bad news”. She had driven 6 hours and made arrangements to leave her family for a few days just to simply be here for me; that’s a pretty great sister. I really enjoyed spending some quality time with her this week in Boone.

Next Friday and through-out my spring break, I will be meeting with Dr. Morgan, my oncologist, to come up with my treatment plan. I don’t know all of the specifics, but I know that my biopsy tested positive for Hodgkins Lymphoma and apparently there was another small inflamed nodule near my collar-bone on my last scan. I also know that treatment will involve chemo and a stem cell transplant, but the good news is, I will most likely be able to finish this semester of college.

I have a long road ahead of me. We’re talking months and months of treatment. I have a lot of really important decisions to make, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do about my wedding yet. The whole treatment process is going to be harder this time for many reasons, but I know I can make it through.

Cancer isn’t supposed to happen to healthy 21-year-olds. I really can’t believe it. I really don’t want to do all of this. I’m supposed to be finishing my senior year and getting married in a couple of months….

But I read on Pastor Steven’s Blog the other day: God’s plan may not be perfect to you, but it’s perfect for you. There is nothing I can do to change who I am. God chose me to be in this place, so I’m just gonna go with it. I’ll try to live my life the best I can, because it’s the one God gave me. I’m trying to just keep in mind that God is using me, and I’m trying to just focus on the blessings: I’m blessed with an army of people praying for me and supporting me. I’m blessed with great doctors and medical care. I’m blessed with options to be cured.

IN A NUTSHELL 

• My Hodkins is back, or it never really went away…
• I’m meeting with Dr. Morgan next Friday, March 9, to discuss my treatment plan
• Please pray for my family and fiance during this time, for discernment in all the decisions I am facing, for strength and courage for the physical and emotional hardships to come, and for a positive perspective throughout my situation always keeping God’s purpose and glory in mind