hard one to swallow

March 13, 2012

If only it were as simple as swallowing a spoonful of cancer syrup to make it all better…maybe someday it will be.

I met with Dr. Morgan last Friday, and didn’t really want to post the plan he suggested on my blog just yet because I knew it wasn’t set in stone. Even though my mom and I came to Houston for a second opinion, I think I kinda had hopes that Dr.Younes, Hodgkins lymphoma specialist of MD Anderson Cancer Center, would have the same opinion and just agree with Dr.Morgan’s treatment plan.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t exactly the case. Although Dr. Younes did agree with Dr. Morgan on the stem-cell transplant part, their opinions differed on the initial chemotherapy. Unlike Dr.Morgan, the type of chemotherapy suggested by Dr. Younes would not allow me to finish this semester of college out like I had hoped and might even require me to move to Houston for a few months. Though it would be inconvenient, convenience isn’t the priority right now. When is cancer ever convenient anyway? I’m going to do whatever it takes to get rid of this and move on with my life.

I’m not sure what treatment option I am going to decide on because it also depends on what my insurance company will cover and what further research reveals about the different drugs. The hardest part about all this is that ultimately, the decision to choose the best treatment is left up to me. It’s a blessing to have options, but I wish that I didn’t have to be the one to make the choice. I feel too young and incapable to make a decision that is so crucial to the rest of my life.

It was also a bit unsettling to find out that the cure rate of stem-cell transplant for Hodgkins is 50%. Being an optimistic person, I thought it was going to be a lot higher. I know that God is able.  That no decision that I make, no treatment that the doctors do or don’t give me, and no statistic can change His will for my life or hinder His power and ability to heal me.

 28 When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”  “Yes, Lord,” they replied.

-Matthew 9:28


  • We’ve discussed possible treatment options with my oncologist in Nashville and another oncologist in Houston
  • Your prayers as we are weighing our options and considering both opinions over the next few days to decide which treatment path to pursue are greatly appreciated

8 Responses to “hard one to swallow”

  1. Bri H said

    Praying for you, sweet girl. I know the Lord will guide you in your decision! And, above all, His name will be glorified!

  2. LeAnn said

    I’m sorry to hear the news. You are right, it is a hard decision for someone your age. I will pray that God leads you to the right decision about treatment and continues to strengthen your faith. We love you!

  3. Susan King said

    I will keep on praying…always praying. And I am asking that God will guide you in making the wisest decision. May you abide in His peace and grace. Sending lots of love to you and to your mom.

  4. Nikki Roser said

    I am praying for God’s guidance in your decision. They gave me a 40% chance of having Kole. God had a plan for me and he has one for you. Trust in him.

  5. Jenna Kosinski said

    You may feel too young Chez, but God provides your wisdom. Praying that His path for your treatment will be crystal clear. Lots of love, Jenna

  6. Ann Pezzoli said

    Cheslie, You are in the prayers of our family and my Bible Study. May God grant you wisdom and peace, and may His healing hand be upon you and your doctors. With love, Ann Pezzoli

  7. Lindsey said

    Cheslie, you don’t know me or my family, but we pray for you every day. I am friends with your sister, Amorey, and my daughter, Kambell, was friends with Maddox in McAllen when they were 2. Just wanted you to know that people from all over are praying for you and your family.

  8. Nancy DeMaio said

    Always praying for you and knowing in Jesus name that you ARE healed. I love you. “This I pray, that you love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment.” Phil 1:19

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